So, here comes Octopath Traveler 0 on Xbox. Big whoop. Bet all those Xbox enthusiasts are just jumping for joy, finally getting their HD-2D fix at the same time as Switch players! What an achievement. Bravo to the geniuses who think pixelated nostalgia wrapped in fancy new packaging is the pinnacle of gaming innovation. Throwback graphics and music that sounds like it’s coming out of a tin can, but hey, it’s ‘retro,’ right? It’s basically the same game with a spruced-up narrative. The ‘origins of Orsterra’? Give me a break. Completely riveting. Not like every fantasy RPG ever has an origin story.
If it wasn’t for Xbox Game Pass practically giving games away, would anyone pay attention to this? I mean, correct your nostalgia goggles and face it: they’re just peddling the same old stuff with little twists here and there. Got those fancy words like ‘parallel storylines’ to make you believe it’s something fresh and mesmerizing when it’s basically the same old grind. Leap back and forth between characters to piece together the world’s dullest jigsaw puzzle, because nothing spells fun like switching between mopey heroes who think they’re special.
And everyone keeps shouting about this ‘art style’. Sure, looks all “gorgeous” and “unique” until you’ve squinted at the screen long enough trying to discern one low-res sprite from another. Whatever. This link here might take you where they feel all fancy writing about this nonsense with more kindness, but I’ve had enough. Done till next time.