Oh, great. Another game that’s supposed to be ‘deceptively simple,’ like Rhythm Doctor. Sure, it’s just one button—you know what else is one button? A nuclear launch, and that seems easier to handle at this point. Seriously, who decided it was a fun idea to make my brain explode while attempting to save virtual patients with offbeat heartbeats and impossible-to-master polyrhythms? Ridiculous. I’m moving to chess where pieces don’t demand I keep time like I’m some wannabe Beethoven.

And what’s this about bringing ‘cult PC hits’ to the living room? It’s no cult when it’s obvious anyone playing this has been brainwashed into thinking suffering equals enjoyment. Sure, it’s on Xbox now. More like on another platform for me to realize my utter ineptitude at living up to some bizarre one-button musical surgery expectation. What next? Grandmaster level Solitaire where the cards hold grudges? I’m over it.

Whatever happened to playing games for fun? Oh no, they’ve gotta twist them into frustrathons where you bleed out patience and dignity. Here’s more for the masochists who think they’re gonna save anyone with that cardiac cacophony. Whatever.