So we’re supposed to get all worked up over this Apple Vision Pro thing, right? Yeah, it’s cool because it’s Apple, but have they considered that maybe we don’t all have necks made out of steel? Who thought it’d be a great idea to make a gaming headset that turns your head into a wrecking ball after 30 minutes? Sure, it’s immersive when you forget you’re living in the real world as your head gets naturally pulled down towards earth by the gravity of stupidity.
They tout ‘unparalleled immersion’ like it’s some holy grail. Right, because I love being so deeply immersed that I forget my chiropractor appointment is inevitable. You know, maybe throw in a free neck brace with every purchase. But no, because instead you get the joy of switching between headache-inducing gaming sessions and trying to figure out what this insane new tech—the so-called ‘killer app’ we’ve all been waiting for—is actually going to do for humanity. Yeah, keep waiting because right now it feels like we’re just strapping a screen onto our faces and paying through the nose for it.
Maybe I’m just not ‘smart enough’ to understand its brilliance. Or maybe I just refuse to acknowledge reality through the lens of Apple-induced blindness. But hey, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’d argue it’s only visible if that eye isn’t buried under five pounds of high-tech glass. Anyway, don’t take my word for it, try headache workouts yourself. Whatever.