So, another game about running a quaint little tea shop but this time you have PTSD because, you know, novelty. Who even comes up with this stuff? It’s like they sat in a room and thought, hey, you know what we need? Another cozy game beaten over the head with unnecessary angst. Because we don’t see enough of that in the real world, right? Ideal escapism, smothered with an oppressive sense of existential dread. What’s next, a cheerful bakery simulator where you occasionally fight zombie customers who remind you of your childhood trauma? Seriously.
And I love how they try to spin it as deconstructing the ‘cozy game’ genre by throwing in psychological tension. Like I really needed that while pretending to arrange scones and pour imaginary jasmine tea. Cozy games are supposed to be stress relievers, not another avenue for self-inflicted discomfort. The worst part is that some people will probably eat it up and claim it’s groundbreaking. Well, enjoy your existential crisis between calms—I’ll just be over here rolling my eyes.
Oh but look, it’s from the creator of The Stanley Parable, so it’s supposed to be all clever or something. Sure, because what else screams clever innovation more than delving into the utterly original concept of a battle-scarred veteran selling chamomile and contemplating the futility of existence as customers yap about trivialities. Whatever. Why don’t they just call it ‘Hipster Trauma Cafe’ and be done with it? I’m done.