VR headsets, huh? So I tried this new Apple Vision Pro thing, and let me tell you, calling it ‘cumbersome’ would be a compliment. Who designed this thing, a medieval knight? 30 minutes before I start feeling like I’m carrying a cement block on my face. Immersion, they say? Who cares about immersion when you’ve got neck pain from bobbing around like an idiot. Just imagine browsing this website while your eyes are literally begging for freedom.
I mean, seriously, Apple, what’s the deal with the weight? Are they stuffing these headsets with lead for that premium feel? Maybe they’re preparing us for a future where we all need neck braces. Oh, and ‘playing for hours’—yeah, right—more like taking a break every half hour because your forehead feels like it got squashed by an elephant. Games as tech demos? I guess they assume you’re impressed by blocks and floating clouds at this point.
And can we talk about the ‘missing killer app’? How do you even define a killer app with these contraptions? What’s it gonna do, teleport me to Aruba? I swear if there’s another update about ‘incremental improvements,’ I’m going to flip. Whatever. I’m done.