So, thinking about ‘Snow White’ as if it were in an honest trailer made me realize, it’s kind of like the Grindhouse version of a classic game. Snow White could probably be the original boss stage, and here’s why. Picture it: a helpless princess running from danger, battling run-ins with evil creatures (one’s literally a witch with an apple), and seeking refuge among quirky side characters. If that doesn’t scream out the plots of several classic PlayStation games, I don’t know what does.
[INSERT_IMAGE_1] And don’t even get me started on the Witch. She’s practically a late-game antagonist. She’s got henchmen in the form of magic mirrors, legit power-ups with her spellbinding concoctions, and owns a layer filled with more inky darkness than a vampire den. Alright, so maybe she doesn’t shoot lasers from her fingertips, but I bet she’s got a ‘press X to cast hex’ floating around squarely in her bag of tricks.
The seven dwarfs with their highly suspect names (seriously, ‘Sneezy’?!) are practically your original squad. You know, the tag-along NPCs who have exactly one personality trait. ‘Bossy’ could have been the character that annoyingly redirects your mission, leading to the wrong end of the enchanted forest—no GPS in these wayward woods. It’s a whole thing. Anyway, you talk about one dwarf and dude, they all pop up, eager to ‘mosey along’. Unskippable 8-bit cutscenes, anyone?
[INSERT_IMAGE_2] Whether it’s the treacherous apple sequence, which doubles as a taut quick time event (press X or die), or the prince, who basically arrives late with a highly selective save file, the story of Snow White reeks of nostalgic connection. Like fine wine and cheese (or, you know, nachos and a Coke), somehow, Snow White’s misadventures have this parallel running to some of our favorite PlayStation games—a connection purely driven by accidental genius or naturally occurring tropes.
My biggest takeaway is: who knew this modest fairy tale could find kinship with adrenaline-rushed stories on screen? Clearly, the forest was the original green room. The tale ends happily, but you can’t help thinking about how much more stress-induced ‘wage time’ could have been avoided had Snow White been a little more like that game’s seasoned protagonist. My eyes still hurt. I need coffee or maybe a nap. Ugh.